I thought what I was was better than this

Music influences people. No one will argue that point. The thing I find funny is how people will say they are listening to some music just for the beat or the insane riff, but I know that it's impossible to only listen to a song without having the lyrics and the message ingrained in your mind.

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The other night, I awoke suddenly at about 4:30 am with a jolt at the thought of nothing, at the sight of, nothing, and at the sound of, you guessed it, my stereo that I forgot to put in sleep mode once again.

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What makes me so much different than them?

Is it that I refuse to take part in their activities such as drinking and smoking? No, that's not it.

Is it because I have an idea of what my purpose in life is? No, that's not it either.

It's because I have the hope and assurance that after I die (whenever that may be, soon, or far off in the future) what I have done in the past, the numerous, horrid things I have do, has been forgiven and that the numerous mistakes I will make in my future (once again, NUMEROUS) by a God who is so loving to give me all this grace that I do not anywhere near deserve, just for loving Him and letting His will become my will, even if it is just silently turning away saying I refuse to do something because of who I have become, and showing how He has changed my life by firmly saying NO to the things my flesh would be the first to say YES to.

Tonight, I was faced by that choice, and I know that the LORD was with me tonight to help me make the right choice to come home. I went to one of my old friend's birthday party's tonight, and all was well till about Midnight. That's when they started planning going over to someone else's house to start drinking. I already had a plan ready to go for this inevitable event, just I had planned it earlier than this, but just as well, I knew it would come. I had made a plan of my own this last afternoon that if anything of even planning this type of thing, I would escape, call my mom, and go home. But since it was Midnight, I knew that my mom would already be asleep, so I was prepared to go ahead with emergency escape plan #2, which would be to walk home. I knew I didn't want to stick around, I had made my mind up a lot earlier then they started planning their drinking. Luckily, not all of them were planning on drinking, and two of them were planning on leaving. I know that the LORD was with me tonight, I know that he didn't want me to be miserable walking home in the cold dark. So I knew that when I asked them for a ride home, that they would say yes, which they did.

So once again, I would like to ask the question. What makes ME different than THEM? Really, nothing. God loves them just the same as He loves me. The only real difference is that I see His beauty and aknowledge Him for it. I know that tonight, I showed them a little glimpse of Jesus. Not by shoving Him down their throats, or even mentoning Him to them, but by saying what I believe in and standing firm in my belief and not faltering when the storms came. I just pray for them now, in whatever they are doing, that the Lord would do something tonight to help them not be blinded by the world anymore, and that the would see the light, and not run from it as I have seen before, but run TO it. Even though they think I may not care for them to stick arund for their durnkeness, that I care for them eternaly, and I pray for a hunger, a true and rightous hunger for the LORD that only He can come and rescue them.

Only our God is big enough t save them. He saved me, even when I was worse than they are, we serve a BIG God, and if we truly believe in Him and believe that what he promises is what He will do, then they will see the light one day, and I thank the LORd for that day.